Mental Age

Sometimes, I'm mentally young. Sometimes, mentally old. I feel mentally young because I like acting silly at times, I'm still into games, obsessing over tv shows/musicians and doing fun things, but I feel mentally old at times because I enjoy talking politics, future and just serious things in general as well as maintaining as a serious attitude.

Then I came to the realisation that age doesn't always fit into a binary. Hobbies and interests do not always have an age limit, well there are always exceptions, but still.

I can be eighteen, and still enjoy things typically for "younger people" and also "older people". I may be intelligent but that does not stop me from being silly. I may be a political enthusiast, but I enjoy also discussing tv shows and whatnot, and you get the idea. It's actually quite fun.

This also comes to the point where maturity is not always defined by age. I guess it's not always abnormal to say "you're quite intelligent for someone your age" but don't be surprised either. Don't be surprised I'm only eighteen but that I have big ideas for the world generally, other than life. Do not be surprised I enjoy discussing political events, and definitely do not be surprised I enjoy talking about what is usually perceived to be "adult things". However, I do not understand when people say "you enjoy things for younger people, or you're so immature for being like that." No. Do not be surprised when I enjoy doing fun things. Do not be surprised when I like games, and definitely do not be surprised when I like to act young every once in a while. Life is short, enjoy it. Also take it seriously.

I guess, you'll find that you're more at peace when you remove the binary from most things in life.

The honourary 18

About a month ago I turned 18 on the 7th of October.  Well I'm finally an adult.

Honestly, I have no idea what to expect, what comes with adulthood. Obviously work, university etc. It kind of sucked I had HSC exams a week ater my birthday, but hopefully I can make up for it. Overall, my eighteenth wasn't so bad.

I feel like there isn't much to write except now I'm an adult, and being 18 is going to bring on more responsibilities and expectations. Something I may or may not look forward to, but we'll see. 18 is just a mini milestone in life. 

HSC Done!

So I've been meaning to write this blog post for a few days now, but I finished my HSC once and for all! Finally! I finished on Thursday, finishing off with my last exam which was Studies of Religiom.

I won't even comment on how I did in my exams, but this year went so quick. Now I have 4 months of holidays. I'm endlessly bored, but I'm trying to do things as much as I can, as well as go job hunting. Formal dress shopping too.

Now all I have left is formal, and HSC/ATAR results day! As well as uni regristration day. Fun times.

I'm just going to make the most of these holidays, but I'm so glad the HSC is finally over!

Done and Dusted!

It's been a while since I've posted... well, I've got big news to share. I've finally done it! I've graduated! I was maybe about to write a speech-like post on my status but I'll spare that on Facebook and save it for here, and write my own personal reflections.

School has been a rollercoaster. Emotionally, physically and mentally. From waking up early in the morning to dying from running in P.E. class. From those moments where we cried endlessly from exams and assignments to our excitement of holidays. Year 7 to year 12, there have been really good memories and experiences. I'm grateful for all the friends I have made, and I'll miss all of them. Mostly, I'm thankful for our teachers and the education they gave us, but mostly how they've treated us over the past two years. They have been so good to us.

I'm upset to leave school because this means actually leaving the routine that I've had for the past couple of years, as well as leaving the support and life that you've only known. At the same time, I'm excited yet nervous because now begins a new chapter in my life. I've decided to take life one step at a time, and live spontaneously. I'm nervous to see where life takes me, but I hope it's somewhere good. I'm also excited for university, and to start working.

This is a blog post, and not a speech so sorry for drabbling on! Overall, today was pretty good. Everyone looked really pretty, and it was mostly laughs all around. I got two awards too, which is pretty good, considering I've been lazy through this whole year. I also got photos with some of my favourite people, so now I have memories in physical form, yay! It was just brilliant, really. I still can't believe I graduated, it feels like a dream. I'm going to miss everyone, and I wish them the best of luck in life. Hopefully, I'll run into them in the future whether it be at uni or in the general public area.

I've enjoyed my experiences, and I'm going to learn from them and remember them. All I hope for now in the short-run is to achieve good HSC marks and a good ATAR before I can truly enjoy finishing school, and I guess I'll see everyone at sign-out day and formal for possibly the last time.

18 and still young

Recently I've been reflecting on certain things, like how I am 18 and nothing but that's okay I still have a lot to learn, and accomplish within my life time. It begs me to ask the question. Why are today's youth obsessed with the idea of '18 so let's do parties, drugs and alcohol!'?

18 is a time of adulthood. A time where we finish school, and take our desired path in life. It gives us a time to rediscover our roots, discover, or rediscover ourselves, and do new things. Why don't we radicalise ourselves, or if that's not for you, then simplify ourselves,  or even in between if you like. You know, put a new meaning on "You only live once." 

If you're into art no matter what form it comes in, read about it, put it into practise, talk about it! If you're into politics, don't be afraid to be radical! (Don't worry I'm not talking "fundamentalist radical" type). If you're into business, get a job, get some experience! Some things are hard but it doesn't hurt to try. Learn new things like a language, take up a hobby, even travel!

If the thing you most look forward to when you're 18 is the aforementioned "drugs, parties and alcohol" then I kind of pity you. Still 18 and young, enjoy it before you have to endure responsibilities.

Orientalism and Appropriation

Orientalism and appropriation is something that I hate. With Selena Gomez wearing a bindi during her performances to Lady Gaga sexualising the burqa and having an orientalist attitude. 

What is orientalism? Orientalism is the representation of the East in Western art or writing, esp. when perceived as stereotyped and therefore embodying a colonialistic attitude.

Appropriation is wrong on so many levels because it is not your culture, you have no right to claim it whatsoever. Orientalism is also wrong because it portrays 'Orientalist peoples' and their culture as something to be fetishised, meanwhile in real life, they get mocked for practising their culture, or are portrayed in the media as something else. A well known example of a film portraying Arabs in an orientalist fashion is Aladdin.

Let's talk about the two examples I mentioned. Selena Gomez and Lady Gaga. Firstly, Selena is Latina, not south East Asian or Hindu, she has NO right to wear the bindi. It is a sacred cultural thing, not fashion. These days, you also have white girls wearing the Native American headdress as fashion. It's ironic because their ancestors did a lot of whitewashing and tried to strip native Americans of their culture by making them more European. They have no right to reclaim the headdress as their fashion icon. What about non-native American / Non-pacific islander people who get Tribal tattoos?

Lady gaga also wore the Burqa a while before to try 'sympathise' with Muslim women. Hey Gaga, listen up! Muslim women do not need your sympathy or white American colonialistic attitude. Furthermore, she just released a song called 'Burqa' and if you look at the lyrics, it is gross and it sexualises women. Secondly, she is catholic, not Muslim. She has no right to do this. It's also ironic that she uses the Burqa for shock value and as a fashion icon, meanwhile Muslim women who actually wear it, or even the hijab, get mocked for it. Even in certain places which claim to be democratic and have freedom, they have banned the burqa.

To conclude, appropriation and orientalism are wrong on so many levels because you have people who are not of that culture reclaiming someone else's culture as their own, or grossly sexualising it and fetishising it.

Nearly there!

Wow, it is already term 3. Just yesterday year 12 began. 

Trials are in 3 weeks, and graduation is in less than 2 months. Then 3 weeks holidays. Then HSC. 3 weeks of that, and then it's all over.

Just like that. Then post-HSC life begins. It's so weird yet relieving to know it's nearly over... And I couldn't be any happier.

Now begins the anxiousness of wondering where my post-HSC life will take me. Well I'll just let it do its thing, I suppose. There's university, for one. Everything else is a mystery.

Your Legacy

Some days I think that one day I'd like to be remembered, to truly have a legacy. I don't want to be remembered for bad things, I don't want to be infamous. I don't even want to be famous either.

I'd like to be someone who provokes good memories within people. I'd like to be someone who is remembered for what I've achieved, and I think that's what it means to be remembered, although everyone has a different definition.

That being said, not only do I want to be personally remembered and when I say personally, I do not mean after I die but when I'm alive as well, but I would love to be the reason for change. I mean, hey, I'm a Muslim [Palestinian] Arab female which means yes tick and tick I'm part of every minority within every category, pretty much which means I come from marginalised groups so I probably can't change the world as a whole like some white man does (or as the whitewashed history books like to assert); I'd definitely like to participate in little changes which would eventually contribute to a big change such as the freedom of my people or the liberation of my homeland.

Or not even politically actively speaking but maybe even contribute to art? Start a literary revolution, perhaps? I mean, I write a lot and I would definitely like to be remembered for some of my work whether it be as a poet or a journalist.

We all have things we want to achieve, which I believe we can, if we try. Everyone has a purpose in life. I mean, everyone knows the world isn't perfect but it's those little things that make our day. I mean, just even being kind to someone can make them remember you.

It is our legacy that defines us for the future, it's how people remember us. They say "first impressions matter" but last impressions matter too, and what if the first impression was the final impression? 

I'd definitely like to be remembered in the present and future. I'd like to uphold that particular honour. Well some say that our future is written for us (yet it is unknown to us), and we can't change it but we can definitely shape it and that's what matters.

Knowledge

"I don’t want to learn in a classroom anymore. I want to travel and talk to people and learn that way. I want to learn as I go, gathering knowledge and not being rigorously tested on it. I don’t want to lose passion in the things I like because of the worry of exams. I want to fuelled by snippets of knowledge I gain from people and be inquisitive. School has stolen my passion for the things I’m interested in and I hate it for that"

I saw that quote on tumblr, and oh my, how relevant! It's very true. 

Days Gone By

I'm not really writing this blog post for anyone, but for myself... For me. To express myself. To reflect.

Well it's May now, and 4 whole months have gone! Holy crap, where did the year go? I'm halfway through my HSC, and I'm already making the big decisions. Decisions as to what I'm going to do after school. Well, I have my long term plan set out, but of course, a small, minor plan would help too. I'm getting ready to face my demons known as school, HSC and everything else that is rather problematic in life.

We got our HSC dates last week, and they're in October, in about 5 months. Yes, we are about more than half way through the HSC year, and that's terrifying. But honestly, I'll be fine... I hope. I think, as long as I study and try hard, I shall be fine, and do well. God willing. It's stress point, at this point. Relaxed term. Not so relaxed term. I don't know. Most of our assessment tasks are at the end of the term, but the work just keeps on piling on, and I'm trying to study for yearly trials coming up, shortly. The reason I say shortly is because this is a short term, and then 7 weeks after trials, we have the actual HSC, then 4 months of holiday; before a new life begins.

A new life as an adult, and that's where I'm currently at, at the moment. I'm trying to decide who I am, who I want to be, and where I want to be in life. Of course, all the epiphanies and all the interesting events start to happen during year 12, and it's not like I need any more distractions or anything.

Well, I just have to deal with everything now, I suppose. Maybe I should just confront my current demon, beat it and face the others later. I don't know.

I turn 18 soon. This is a tough journey, but also a spontaneous one, and I can not wait to see where life takes me. So from here on in, life do your thing. (Or don't.)