The honourary 18

About a month ago I turned 18 on the 7th of October.  Well I'm finally an adult.

Honestly, I have no idea what to expect, what comes with adulthood. Obviously work, university etc. It kind of sucked I had HSC exams a week ater my birthday, but hopefully I can make up for it. Overall, my eighteenth wasn't so bad.

I feel like there isn't much to write except now I'm an adult, and being 18 is going to bring on more responsibilities and expectations. Something I may or may not look forward to, but we'll see. 18 is just a mini milestone in life. 

HSC Done!

So I've been meaning to write this blog post for a few days now, but I finished my HSC once and for all! Finally! I finished on Thursday, finishing off with my last exam which was Studies of Religiom.

I won't even comment on how I did in my exams, but this year went so quick. Now I have 4 months of holidays. I'm endlessly bored, but I'm trying to do things as much as I can, as well as go job hunting. Formal dress shopping too.

Now all I have left is formal, and HSC/ATAR results day! As well as uni regristration day. Fun times.

I'm just going to make the most of these holidays, but I'm so glad the HSC is finally over!

Done and Dusted!

It's been a while since I've posted... well, I've got big news to share. I've finally done it! I've graduated! I was maybe about to write a speech-like post on my status but I'll spare that on Facebook and save it for here, and write my own personal reflections.

School has been a rollercoaster. Emotionally, physically and mentally. From waking up early in the morning to dying from running in P.E. class. From those moments where we cried endlessly from exams and assignments to our excitement of holidays. Year 7 to year 12, there have been really good memories and experiences. I'm grateful for all the friends I have made, and I'll miss all of them. Mostly, I'm thankful for our teachers and the education they gave us, but mostly how they've treated us over the past two years. They have been so good to us.

I'm upset to leave school because this means actually leaving the routine that I've had for the past couple of years, as well as leaving the support and life that you've only known. At the same time, I'm excited yet nervous because now begins a new chapter in my life. I've decided to take life one step at a time, and live spontaneously. I'm nervous to see where life takes me, but I hope it's somewhere good. I'm also excited for university, and to start working.

This is a blog post, and not a speech so sorry for drabbling on! Overall, today was pretty good. Everyone looked really pretty, and it was mostly laughs all around. I got two awards too, which is pretty good, considering I've been lazy through this whole year. I also got photos with some of my favourite people, so now I have memories in physical form, yay! It was just brilliant, really. I still can't believe I graduated, it feels like a dream. I'm going to miss everyone, and I wish them the best of luck in life. Hopefully, I'll run into them in the future whether it be at uni or in the general public area.

I've enjoyed my experiences, and I'm going to learn from them and remember them. All I hope for now in the short-run is to achieve good HSC marks and a good ATAR before I can truly enjoy finishing school, and I guess I'll see everyone at sign-out day and formal for possibly the last time.

18 and still young

Recently I've been reflecting on certain things, like how I am 18 and nothing but that's okay I still have a lot to learn, and accomplish within my life time. It begs me to ask the question. Why are today's youth obsessed with the idea of '18 so let's do parties, drugs and alcohol!'?

18 is a time of adulthood. A time where we finish school, and take our desired path in life. It gives us a time to rediscover our roots, discover, or rediscover ourselves, and do new things. Why don't we radicalise ourselves, or if that's not for you, then simplify ourselves,  or even in between if you like. You know, put a new meaning on "You only live once." 

If you're into art no matter what form it comes in, read about it, put it into practise, talk about it! If you're into politics, don't be afraid to be radical! (Don't worry I'm not talking "fundamentalist radical" type). If you're into business, get a job, get some experience! Some things are hard but it doesn't hurt to try. Learn new things like a language, take up a hobby, even travel!

If the thing you most look forward to when you're 18 is the aforementioned "drugs, parties and alcohol" then I kind of pity you. Still 18 and young, enjoy it before you have to endure responsibilities.

Orientalism and Appropriation

Orientalism and appropriation is something that I hate. With Selena Gomez wearing a bindi during her performances to Lady Gaga sexualising the burqa and having an orientalist attitude. 

What is orientalism? Orientalism is the representation of the East in Western art or writing, esp. when perceived as stereotyped and therefore embodying a colonialistic attitude.

Appropriation is wrong on so many levels because it is not your culture, you have no right to claim it whatsoever. Orientalism is also wrong because it portrays 'Orientalist peoples' and their culture as something to be fetishised, meanwhile in real life, they get mocked for practising their culture, or are portrayed in the media as something else. A well known example of a film portraying Arabs in an orientalist fashion is Aladdin.

Let's talk about the two examples I mentioned. Selena Gomez and Lady Gaga. Firstly, Selena is Latina, not south East Asian or Hindu, she has NO right to wear the bindi. It is a sacred cultural thing, not fashion. These days, you also have white girls wearing the Native American headdress as fashion. It's ironic because their ancestors did a lot of whitewashing and tried to strip native Americans of their culture by making them more European. They have no right to reclaim the headdress as their fashion icon. What about non-native American / Non-pacific islander people who get Tribal tattoos?

Lady gaga also wore the Burqa a while before to try 'sympathise' with Muslim women. Hey Gaga, listen up! Muslim women do not need your sympathy or white American colonialistic attitude. Furthermore, she just released a song called 'Burqa' and if you look at the lyrics, it is gross and it sexualises women. Secondly, she is catholic, not Muslim. She has no right to do this. It's also ironic that she uses the Burqa for shock value and as a fashion icon, meanwhile Muslim women who actually wear it, or even the hijab, get mocked for it. Even in certain places which claim to be democratic and have freedom, they have banned the burqa.

To conclude, appropriation and orientalism are wrong on so many levels because you have people who are not of that culture reclaiming someone else's culture as their own, or grossly sexualising it and fetishising it.

Nearly there!

Wow, it is already term 3. Just yesterday year 12 began. 

Trials are in 3 weeks, and graduation is in less than 2 months. Then 3 weeks holidays. Then HSC. 3 weeks of that, and then it's all over.

Just like that. Then post-HSC life begins. It's so weird yet relieving to know it's nearly over... And I couldn't be any happier.

Now begins the anxiousness of wondering where my post-HSC life will take me. Well I'll just let it do its thing, I suppose. There's university, for one. Everything else is a mystery.

Your Legacy

Some days I think that one day I'd like to be remembered, to truly have a legacy. I don't want to be remembered for bad things, I don't want to be infamous. I don't even want to be famous either.

I'd like to be someone who provokes good memories within people. I'd like to be someone who is remembered for what I've achieved, and I think that's what it means to be remembered, although everyone has a different definition.

That being said, not only do I want to be personally remembered and when I say personally, I do not mean after I die but when I'm alive as well, but I would love to be the reason for change. I mean, hey, I'm a Muslim [Palestinian] Arab female which means yes tick and tick I'm part of every minority within every category, pretty much which means I come from marginalised groups so I probably can't change the world as a whole like some white man does (or as the whitewashed history books like to assert); I'd definitely like to participate in little changes which would eventually contribute to a big change such as the freedom of my people or the liberation of my homeland.

Or not even politically actively speaking but maybe even contribute to art? Start a literary revolution, perhaps? I mean, I write a lot and I would definitely like to be remembered for some of my work whether it be as a poet or a journalist.

We all have things we want to achieve, which I believe we can, if we try. Everyone has a purpose in life. I mean, everyone knows the world isn't perfect but it's those little things that make our day. I mean, just even being kind to someone can make them remember you.

It is our legacy that defines us for the future, it's how people remember us. They say "first impressions matter" but last impressions matter too, and what if the first impression was the final impression? 

I'd definitely like to be remembered in the present and future. I'd like to uphold that particular honour. Well some say that our future is written for us (yet it is unknown to us), and we can't change it but we can definitely shape it and that's what matters.

Knowledge

"I don’t want to learn in a classroom anymore. I want to travel and talk to people and learn that way. I want to learn as I go, gathering knowledge and not being rigorously tested on it. I don’t want to lose passion in the things I like because of the worry of exams. I want to fuelled by snippets of knowledge I gain from people and be inquisitive. School has stolen my passion for the things I’m interested in and I hate it for that"

I saw that quote on tumblr, and oh my, how relevant! It's very true. 

Days Gone By

I'm not really writing this blog post for anyone, but for myself... For me. To express myself. To reflect.

Well it's May now, and 4 whole months have gone! Holy crap, where did the year go? I'm halfway through my HSC, and I'm already making the big decisions. Decisions as to what I'm going to do after school. Well, I have my long term plan set out, but of course, a small, minor plan would help too. I'm getting ready to face my demons known as school, HSC and everything else that is rather problematic in life.

We got our HSC dates last week, and they're in October, in about 5 months. Yes, we are about more than half way through the HSC year, and that's terrifying. But honestly, I'll be fine... I hope. I think, as long as I study and try hard, I shall be fine, and do well. God willing. It's stress point, at this point. Relaxed term. Not so relaxed term. I don't know. Most of our assessment tasks are at the end of the term, but the work just keeps on piling on, and I'm trying to study for yearly trials coming up, shortly. The reason I say shortly is because this is a short term, and then 7 weeks after trials, we have the actual HSC, then 4 months of holiday; before a new life begins.

A new life as an adult, and that's where I'm currently at, at the moment. I'm trying to decide who I am, who I want to be, and where I want to be in life. Of course, all the epiphanies and all the interesting events start to happen during year 12, and it's not like I need any more distractions or anything.

Well, I just have to deal with everything now, I suppose. Maybe I should just confront my current demon, beat it and face the others later. I don't know.

I turn 18 soon. This is a tough journey, but also a spontaneous one, and I can not wait to see where life takes me. So from here on in, life do your thing. (Or don't.)

Paramore - Self-titled

After losing two primary members of the band in 2010, Paramore have been resilient, and have continued to remain a band. After 3 and a half years of touring, as well as writing and recording music, they have finally released their well-anticipated fourth album. Of course, having released 'warm-up' songs known as the Singles Club in 2011, they initially received mixed reviews. However, this album takes Paramore to a whole new level.

Fast In My Car - Fast In My Car opens the album with its loud drums, making it sound almost like an anthem. At the beginning, the sound almost resembles that of bands like The Killers and Hole as soon as it launches into its speedy guitars and vocals. Some also say, this sounds like Garbage. I really like this song. Of course, lyrics are nothing to write home about but it provides us with an introduction to the band's new sound. This is the first time Paramore have used synths in the recordings of their songs, and it is clearly visible as soon as you start listening. It also makes you want to get up and dance, as soon as it launches into chorus. Not to mention, the chorus has a catchy melody which makes it easy to get it stuck in your head. Overall, it's a great song that ties us in to the album, and prepares us for what's to come.

Now - You can definitely hear a bit of Gwen Stefani influence in Hayley's voice at the beginning, it is rather evident. This song is the first single from Paramore, and we get a taste of the new sound. It has a really futuristic sound to it, which I guess works well with the lyrics 'If there's a future, we want it now'. The lyrics overall paint a nice picture in your head as to what the song is about, I guess. The synths work really well, and they give the song its edginess, as well as those drums. They make the song better. Particularly when the drums are in time with the lyrics, as Hayley sings 'No-o-o-ow'. The guitars give it a bit of a grunge edge, which is cool too. The song overall has an eerie sound to it, and Hayley's background vocals help add to that effect. I suppose, you can also say it is also a bit reminiscent of past Paramore.

Grow Up - This song is a really cool melodious pop-rock jam. I particularly enjoy Taylor's guitars during that chorus. I especially love the lyrics, and despite such angry lyrics, or frustrated lyrics, I enjoy Hayley's vocals. Particularly during the chorus. I enjoy them more during the bridge. Her soulful lyrics are what make the song truly what it is. I really don't have much to say about this, other than it is a jam, an absolute jam.

Daydreaming - This song is one of the standouts for me. What this song does is take you on an adventure with its melody, rhythm and music. Remember when Paramore revealed that this was the first song they wrote, and there was this massive hype over it? Well, even though we hadn't heard it, we sure it'd be good, and it was more than that. It is music to my ears, literally. I also think this song would be perfect for a soundtrack, I really like the buildup before the chorus. Yes, this song is definitely one of my favourites.

Interlude: Moving On - Here is where Paramore do something unexpected... have three interludes! But wait for more surprises, these interludes are played with a ukulele! This is the first Interlude out of the three, and I'm guessing it's about Paramore's last soap opera, if you guys know what I mean. The lyrics are quite obvious anyway, but enough storytelling and down to the actual review! You can hear some kind of feet tapping at the beginning, and then into this catchy rhythm we go. I like this interlude, it's catchy and makes you want to sing along. There's really not that much you can say about an interlude, I suppose, but at first, when I heard the iTunes preview, I was disappointed with the simplicity of it, and now I love it!

Ain't It Fun - This track is different to what Paramore have ever done before. It starts off with a cool funky vibe and Jeremy's basslines really adds to that, and really gets you singing along. What's great about this song is the build up of it, so it's fun to sing along to. Out of nowhere comes a gospel choir, and that's what I really love most about this song. It adds that gospel/soul aspect to it, and makes the song so much better. If the gospel choir doesn't make you feel like you're watching Sister Act, then it should. The gospel choir also takes you places, like a church, for instance. That's what it reminds me of.  I like the use of different instruments too to make the different sounds. This song is definitely experimental, and I think you can tell. The use of harmonies in this song is done really well as well, and if you do not like it, I do not understand how. It is definitely something magical, in my opinion.

Part II - Part II...? Part II of what? This is the successor to Let The Flames Begin, its sequel. What's so brilliant about this song is it sounds like Let The Flames Begin, but is its own song in its own right. What I particularly love about this song are how cleverly the lyrics are portrayed, making connections to LTFB "What a shame we all remain such fragile, broken things" and the constant repetition of "Oh glory". What I love more about this is the fact they've integrated the Monster live outro as the song's bridge. Hayley's vocals are perfection, and they show passion. This song also has one of the greatest instrumentals ever. It definitely meets an A+ in all areas. This song definitely lives up to the standards of its predecessor, and it is really well done. Props to Paramore.

Last Hope - This song is absolutely perfect. It's very calming and the guitar sort of reminds me of All I Wanted from their previous album, Brand New Eyes. It's a song with very powerful lyrics, and it is very empowering in its self. Such powerful lyrics such as "It's just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going" shows that even just a spark shows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I think that is what Hayley Williams is aiming for with this song, that she's rising up, and there's hope for her, and us all. In saying that, you can definitely hear in it her vocals as well. There is just so much passion. The bridge is definitely a standout in the song as well. I think this song is really well done, and this song is a reason why Paramore continue to serve as an inspiration for many.

Still Into You - In my opinion, this is such a pop-rock gem. People have differing  opinions on this song, but even if you don't like it, after a while it starts to grow on you. Honestly, I liked this as soon as I heard it. However, I thought it was pretty weak, and easily forgettable. After a few listens, you can never get this out of your head. It has such a simple chorus but very upbeat, and great to sing a long to! I absolutely love the high notes that Hayley belts out during the bridge, it's nice to see her showcase her vocals. It has also done really well in the mainstream, so that's good! Overall, it's a fun, nice, and sweet song to jam to.

Anklebiters - This song has such a weird title, but we're here for music, not for names! Honestly, I just love how upbeat and energetic this song is. It has such a punk vibe to it with its guitars but then it launches into rhythmic rock music that makes you want to get up and dance, I really love how angst-y the lyrics are overall as well. The bass is definitely something that stands out in this song, and really gets the rhythm going. I think this probably has to be one of my favourites. I just wish it was longer. I can probably tell Paramore had so much fun recording this, particularly with the group vocals in this song. Overall, it's something worth listening to on repeat.

Interlude: Holiday - This interlude is very calming, and sort of gives me a Best Coast feel to it. Perfect introduction to the next part of the album.

Proof - The sound of this also somewhat alludes to new Paramore. I don't know why, but I just enjoy Ilan's drumming in this. I also love how funky the lyrics and vocals are. This is just a really awesome song, and I see that it has potential to do well commercially, if it becomes a single.

Hate To See Your Heart Break - I generally tend to skip this one, because I'm a not a fan of slow songs, or country-ish sounding songs, for that matter. When I first heard this, I thought Taylor Swift must've co-wrote this or something, and the title hints to that. However, can we please note how beautifully written it is? It's very sorrow, and while it is one of my least favourites, it's one of the best ballads Paramore has written, not that they generally do ballads, but it is just beautiful in general.

(One of Those) Crazy Girls - This starts off slow, and then starts to progress faster. Another love song, no surprise. This gives me a Best Coast tone at the beginning, and also reminds me of Demi Lovato's Here We Go Again towards the bridge. I love the melody of this song, and the overall tone. The instrumental is amazing, that it even has a guitar solo! Not many rock songs do that these days. It also takes me back to the past somehow. It's just a really good song.

Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore - People often say how much you can hear the Best Coast overtones in this interlude, and I do agree. This a catchy interlude which proves that the band have finally moved on from all their past dramas. This is my favourite of the interludes, and I really love Hayley's voice on this, alongside the ukulele. I could listen to this on repeat for hours on end.

Be Alone - This song starts off with kick-ass guitar riffs, then launches into speedy guitars and drums. I particularly like the harmonies in this song. This song reminds me of past Paramore, and I really love it. I really also like how well the background vocals are used. The random voiceover in the middle was pretty weird though. Other than that, it absolutely rocks.

Future - This is such an epic closer to the album. An epic finalé. This is also the longes song on the album, and the longest song Paramore have done, being close to 8 minutes. This song gives me feelings like no other, particularly with its lyrics. It shows that it's a step forward to the future, literally. "We don't think about the past" is a key lyric as well. It also has 5 minutes of post-rock instrumental, and that gives the song its big kick. Although what I really do not understand is the big fade in the middle, and I really think part of the instrumental was a missed opportunity, in which they could've used for vocals or something. Overall, this song is fantastic.

Paramore have once again proved that they are extraordinary musicians. This album is just overall fantastic, with maybe a few minor faults here and there but that's okay, because just how ideal it is makes up for that, and I think, they have also proven they could do it without the Farros. This probably has to be my favourite album by them yet, as well as my favourite release from this year so far. They have also proven that there is nothing wrong with experimenting with new sounds, as sometimes it could work, and it definitely has worked in their favour!